you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
