Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
