I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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