Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Come share oat with me in your robe
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize