I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize