my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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