she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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