Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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