What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
