I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
