why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
