What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
