There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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