i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Small penises have feelings too.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
