my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
