He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
