My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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