my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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