that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
