I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
