Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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