im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
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