Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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