now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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