marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
