hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
