There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
