wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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