Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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