dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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