I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
