is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
