do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
