What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
