Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Boobs are out for the taking
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
