So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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