I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need moral support for this bender
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
