Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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