sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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