I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
