Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
