I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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