Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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  (603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b
  Replies (16) Good night (2239) Bad night (2344)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?

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  (215): what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop? http://tfl.nu/1iue
  Replies (245) Good night (5063) Bad night (1080)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.

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  (248): Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll. http://tfl.nu/4l0s
  Replies (14) Good night (5300) Bad night (701)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

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  (973): i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers http://tfl.nu/mvp5
  Replies (30) Good night (7900) Bad night (1281)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.

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  (201): A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus. http://tfl.nu/oh1b
  Replies (4) Good night (3538) Bad night (1206)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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  (+44): just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN http://tfl.nu/72q0
  Replies (28) Good night (8641) Bad night (1363)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

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  (978): He was like a foghorn with a huge penis. http://tfl.nu/5kl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (950)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.

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  (360): There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line. http://tfl.nu/jhch
  Replies (12) Good night (796) Bad night (2348)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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  (307): I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe http://tfl.nu/mnt3
  Replies (5) Good night (1859) Bad night (676)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.

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  (864): I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out. http://tfl.nu/hn3q
  Replies (3) Good night (1930) Bad night (772)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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  (512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l
  Replies (11) Good night (1779) Bad night (475)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!

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  (712): Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica! http://tfl.nu/c9lo
  Replies (5) Good night (517) Bad night (244)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.

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  (907): Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication. http://tfl.nu/ibud
  Replies (0) Good night (342) Bad night (454)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair

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  (702): Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair http://tfl.nu/ilwv
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (205)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.

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  (850): We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going. http://tfl.nu/jid8
  Replies (2) Good night (258) Bad night (198)

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