If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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