Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
