I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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