its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
