I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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