BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize