she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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