Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
