you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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