eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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