Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
